Week Two

WEEK TWO

Welcome to week two of The NaiSaiKu Challenge?
First of all I must congratulate each and every one of the week one participants for taking The NaiSaiKu.. Challenge! Thank you!

They say that the great thing about having rules is being able to break them – well, we haven’t really got any rules, but we do have a few guidelines and ideas and although NaiSaiKu.. Isn’t really an invention, (it’s just a different way of saying the same thing) we have found that it evolves at a rapid rate from time to time.

I started by writing a three-line poem with a strict syllable count. I didn’t know where to put the title so I tagged it on the end making it into a four-line poem. I then repeated the previous three lines in re-verse order to give me a seven-line poem of two stanzas linked by a central TITLE.
Here’s an example:

Skating on the pond

If the ice cracks don’t go on

Hippopotamus

SKATING ON THE POND

Hippopotamus

If the ice cracks don’t go on

Skating on the pond

The example above is made up of two Haiku style poems with a title inserted or sandwiched between them. Below I have printed the two Haiku without the capitalised title, making a two-verse poem.

Skating on the pond

If the ice cracks don’t go on

Hippopotamus

Hippopotamus

If the ice cracks don’t go on

Skating on the pond

You will notice above that the last line of the first verse reads the same as the first line of the second verse.

Next I combine the last line of the first verse with the first line of the second verse to create a central capitalised title, which identifies this poem as being a NaiSaiKu..
But more than that, we have discarded some of the repetition, and if the idea is to say more in fewer words and less syllables, then I think this could be a defining moment in the evolution of the form.

Skating on the pond

If the ice cracks don’t go on

HIPPOPOTAMUS

If the ice cracks don’t go on

Skating on the pond

Okay, so the example above has 29 syllables, which is ten less than the first example and I for one think it looks and reads better. So my aim now is to write NaiSaiKu.. with 29 syllables or less. Of course doing it the way I propose is a little more restrictive than the earlier examples because it does involve combining the title with the last line of the first verse and the first line of the re-verse verse.

From my point of view, this would of course standardize and purify the form. However, there are so many other variations already in existence and I know that your creative minds have new ideas for this form too! So at the end of the day there isn’t just one way to build a NaiSaiKu.. but quite literally as many different ways as there are people writing them.

So, what is a NaiSaiKu.. ?

First of all I must stress that NaisaiKu.. is a just for fun form of poetry. It’s not meant to be taken seriously by real poets or by academics. It’s not a new invention; it’s just a different way of saying the same thing. It is usually made up of two three-line Haiku style verses with a capitalised title sandwiched between them.

The second verse is a re-verse form of the first verse, although one or two people have shown that a simple repetition of the first verse works equally well. Others have also played around with the words in the second verse and stretched the meaning of the original thought. Some people have actually added more lines and more syllables to the form, experimenting with Tanka and playing around with the Cinquain.

So, in short the answer has to be that NaiSaiKu.. is whatever you want it to be, whichever way you build it. But don’t forget, ‘It’s just a bit of fun!’

Now you’re ready to play The NaiSaiKu.. Challenge! game...

All you need to do is write a NaiSaiKu.. style poem and post it on your own blog. Then leave your name and a permalink to your blog post on the Mister Linky thingy below.

A NaiSaiKu.. is usually made up of two Haiku length poems, the second being a re-verse order or mirror image of the first with a CAPITALISED TITLE inserted between them. I try to build mine in 17 syllables or less for each three line stanza.

You can clink~da~link HERE for my notes on How To Write a NaiSaiKu.. However, you can be as creative as you like with your interpretation but please put a link back to The NaiSaiKu.. Challenge! when you do. And please don't forget to visit the other participants if you can and leave a comment on their blogs. Thank you

Week One

WEEK ONE
Welcome to week one of
The NaiSaiKu
Challenge?

All you need to do is write a NaiSaiku.. style poem and post it on your own blog.
Then leave your name and a permalink to your blog post on the Mister Linky Thingy below.
A NaiSaiKu.. is made up of two Haiku length poems, the second being a reverse order or mirror image of the first with a CAPITALISED TITLE inserted between them.
I try to build mine in 17 syllables or less for each three line stanza.
You can clink~da~link HERE for my notes on How To Write a NaiSaiKu..
However, you can be as creative as you like with your interpretation but please
put a link back to The NaiSaiKu Challenge? when you do.
I'm looking forward to reading your contribution of this evolving form.
And please try and visit the other participants and leave them a comment, thanks.

How to write a NaisaiKu..

How to write a
NaiSaiKu..

First of all I must stress that NaiSaiKu..
is a just for fun form of poetry.
It’s not meant to be taken seriously by real poets or by academics.

I started by writing a three-line poem with a strict syllable count.
I didn’t know where to put the title so I tagged it on the end
making it into a four-line poem.
I then repeated the previous three lines in reverse order to give
me a seven-line poem of two stanzas linked by a central TITLE.
Here’s an example:

Skating on the pond
If the ice cracks don’t go on
Hippopotamus
SKATING ON THE POND
Hippopotamus
If the ice cracks don’t go on
Skating on the pond

I liked the way this looked with its capitalised TITLE and where possible
I also coloured this in blue. If you look at the above example you’ll
notice that the title is the first and last line repeated.
The strict syllable count here is 5-7-5 plus of course 5 for the TITLE.
Giving a total count of 39 syllables. However, this was only the beginning…

Next I looked at different ways of building a NaiSaiKu..
the following example shows how you can use 41 syllables by making the
second and sixth lines read the same as the TITLE.
Here’s an example:

This is a sandwich
I am the meat and two veg
I'm a slice of bread
I AM THE MEAT AND TWO VEG
I'm a slice of bread
I am the meat and two veg
This is a sandwich

Now if the aim of NaiSaiKu.. was to keep to a strict syllable count and
to impose an immovable discipline, then the above form would be the one I would choose because it can be read in so many ways. It’s no longer just two stanzas
with a daft central TITLE it can now be read as three separate Haiku or Senryu
the first three lines, the middle three, and the last three. Phew!

So, if I could move the title from the first line to the second line and increase the
syllable count why couldn’t I use the third line as the TITLE and decrease
the syllable count again? Of course that’s exactly what I did next!
Here’s an example:

You tell them three times
Then they think that they told you
Who the hell yell you
WHO THE HELL YELL YOU
Who the hell yell you
Then they think that they told you
You tell them three times

I like the way this reads, it’s a good form if you really want to shout something out!

You may have noticed that the titles are colour coded.
I use blue for the first style red for the 41 syllable form and pink for the
central repetition of lines 3 and 5.
For a more modern approach I highlight the TITLE in green.

So far we’ve only looked at strict form or restricted poetry as some people may call it.
I set my work out in this way because I was comfortable with a strict 5 – 7 – 5 syllable old English Haiku style and I found it worked well for me.

Because NaiSaiKu.. is just a bit of fun!
I have made no attempt to enter into or emulate the spirit
of either traditional or modern Haiku of which there are
many excellent examples available on the World Wide Web.

Finally you can create your own NaiSaiKu..
in a modern style without any syllable restriction if you like,
or you can try a 3 – 5 – 3 or a 2 – 3 – 2 or a short – long – short or a
der – der – der or a singing – rhyming – chiming one
if the mood or your muse takes you there.
Here’s an example of the 2 – 3 – 2 syllable form:

Spring dawn
Cats come home
First light
SPRING DAWN
First light
Cats come home
Spring dawn

Or for a really neat look you could build it like this:

Spring dawn
Cats come home
FIRST LIGHT
Cats come home
Spring dawn

And a rhyming example:

Hippopotawot
Hippopotawotamus
Hippopotamus
HIPPOPOTAWOT
Hippopotamus
Hippopotawotamus
Hippopotawot

Or this way:

Hippopotamus
Hippopotawotamus
HIPPOPOTAWOT
Hippopotawotamus
Hippopotamus

Finally finally, you can of course convert an existing
Haiku into a NaisaiKu.. if you really want to.

Here's the trick - You take a well written modern Haiku like the 2-3-2 below:

Dry slopes
on the piste
wet snow

Then you add the TITLE:

Dry slopes
on the piste
wet snow
ON THE PISTE

Then you add the second stanza which is a reverse of the first,
and hey presto you have just built a NaiSaiKu..

Dry slopes
on the piste
wet snow
ON THE PISTE
wet snow
on the piste
dry slopes

But 'old on a mo', we ain't finished yet 'cos now we're gonna go full circle
and reveal the Emperor's new clothes:

Dry slopes on the piste
wet snow on the piste wet snow
on the piste dry slopes

Remember that if you use somebody else’s work
you will usually need their written permission before you can publish it or post it Online.

In conclusion, NaiSaiKu.. can rhyme or not rhyme, they can be built to a strict syllable
form or they can be free verse. I think that the only thing that actually sets them
apart or perhaps makes them unique is the fact that the TITLE is CAPITALISED
and is placed in the centre of the piece. Most of the examples we have looked at
have seven lines including the TITLE LINE but there's nothing to stop you
from experimenting with more lines or from adding puns and metaphor
or even from changing the order of the way the words go, like in this
example, from our Stan, at Elephant Small COST OF REVERSAL
which can be read back to front.

At the end of the day NaiSaiKu.. is Just a bit of fun!
Andy Sewina
060209

If you would like to be part of the evolution of NaiSaiKu..
and write your own example.
Simply post it on your own blog or web site and leave a link in the comments box
on this post so we can all read your contribution.
Many thanks for reading this and if you do leave a link in the comments box
I'll add you to the Bloggage! unless you ask me not to... Phew!

Here's my original CycliKu post.

And feel free to stick The NaisaiKu Challenge? game on your blog roll too!